LA-nd of the rich and the famous

Before I left I stressed my worries to some people about being a lonely old creep who would annoy other travellers...but it is with thankfulness that I say 'tis quite the opposite. It seems that everywhere I look there's a new person to befriend. Must be BECAUSE I'M SAH POPULAR. But honestly, I was worried about being alone, but after only a couple of days I've already managed to double book myself with plans with other travelling homies. I've realised though, that the best places to meet people are at bus stops. It seems as if there is ALWAYS someone to talk to, I'm just sitting there minding my business and then someone pipes up "Where ya from gurl?" and then I find myself engaged in conversation for the next hour or so about all sorts; politics, the racial controversy in Oklahoma or the state of the Californian bus system. And then he's throwing his head back and slapping his hands together saying, "Dayum gurl you golden" and then nek minnit I've got a piece of paper with the address of his Aunt in Boston shoved into my hand. Le sigh. Seriously. Not to toot my own horn but I'm finding it difficult to get a moment of peace.

Woke early, mainly because the weather is so freaking hot. Hooked up with a Pommie, Will, who - get this; though I was legit 100% British and that I came from the south of London. I told him he was bloody ridiculous and he told me that I should have gotten enough experience with criminology and criminals in Australia, and why would I venture all the way out to America to study it. I politely reminded him that all the convicts were originally British you twat and he told me that we're terrible at cricket and I stromed off and we were pretty good mates after that. We jumped on a tour bus that took us out and around Hollywood and Beverly Hills. I usually don't go for those wanky tour-things, but this was pretty good. I think their main selling point was 'you MIGHT see someone famous'. Yeah, ok buddy.




Right outside our hostel



Hollywood Walk of Fame - 2200 stars



A personal favourite

The atrocious sports bar from last night...sigh

We learnt in Europe, it's eat or be eaten in hostel-food world

Dats right

This is a legit high school. Hollywood High. The musical Grease was also filmed here in Hollywood. So yes, one might call that Rydall High.

Famous people stay here. There's a room dedicated to Miss Monroe. JT was here only a couple of weeks ago.

Looking down Hollywood Boulevard



Pulp Fiction anyone? This is where the diner scene with Uma and John was filmed



LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE. This is where she infamously shaved her head a couple  of years ago, The Drybar in LA.

Johnny Depp's handy hole in the wall joint.

Anybody who is a somebody has played here in LA...Motley Crue, Metellica, Duran Duran...

Beverly Hills - so fake it almost looks real

Tom Cruise's crib

Sunset Boulevard...what dreams are made of

LA residence of David and Victoria (Beckham...if you didn't know *rolls eyes*)

When he aint helping people with problems on screen, Dr Phil is hanging 10 here



Be cool guys - Brangelia live here ok

The King of Pop (sigh, MJ if you didn't know) took his last breath in that master bedroom behind the balcony *sob*

Guess what? Snoop Dog's home from work

Bel Air...another exotic suburb of LA

The Pretty Woman lives in a pretty house. Julia Roberts, you are amazing

One really oughta talk to Adam about trimming his hedges so we can see into the Sandler Residence. Honestly. Rude. 

Le sigh. I want to live on Mapleton Dr with a garden so perfect it looks like plastic
 

Legendary Whitney Houston passed away on the 4th floor of the Beverly Hilton  Hotel

Rodeo Drive...exclusive shopping strip in LA

Apparently famous people shop and dine here all the time...you can see some filming going on, and we got close enough to hear someone shout "It's Him!"...but didn't succeed in finding out who that "Him" was...le sigh

California, ladies' and gents

After lunch I was keen to hit up some famous LA beaches and work on a glorious LA tan. Met up with Canadians Max and Bernard, and we nutted out the bus system, wait no - that's a LIE, they leeched onto me because I had visited the tourist centre and had maps and actually knew what I was doing. Regardless, they were loud, friendly and a lot of fun and we made it down to Santa Monica together. Santa Monica - *cue applause*. It is hands down absolutely gorgeous, the  beach is spectacular, just like all the movies. People rollerblade and cycle along the beach paths, and sip summer cocktails from exclusive bars on the waterfront. People in California really take a likening to the accent, and I found myself meeting and making more friends along the way.  

Doc was as standout, and older African American man with whom I spent a couple of hours with on a park bench over looking the city. Amongst groups of born-again Christians and meeting a couple of other Aussie people, I'm in love with the place. The sun is always shining and the people are always happy...I find myself continually trusting them, even when they say 'don't trust anyone in LA...except for maybe me'.

One of my favourite photos of downtown LA

Where the magic happens

That is the Hollywood sign in the background...take my word for it

I'll formally apologise now for my pathological picture-taking, but the following are all from Santa Monica on the West Coast.

Bernard in Santa Monica

Around the end there by the cape, is Malibu

Photo by myself, don't even care

Sucks to be in a Melbourne winter hey

Santa Monica beach

Dat Santa Monica

Dolby Theatre complex by night

Yes, I was 'that person' who photographed their food

 

Watch me do it punk

 
 Admittedly there's a bit of a rockin hostel party going on atm in the common room, so I'd best stop being a wanker on my laptop and plod on over.

La la la di da in LA

Before I left Australia I said that I was going to exponentially plot my assumed and impermissible weight gain during my time in the US. It has come to my attention that my watch band is too tight, in the sense that after one day my wrists have already swelled, forcing me to loosen the strap.

Hollywood Blvd at night

 

 

 

The place is swarming with Pommies. Note to self; the Brits don't appreciate being called Pommies. I had a jetlagged nap after I arrived in my hot and stuffy dorm, which lasted till about 7.30pm, by which time it was still light and Hollywood was bustling. People say NYC never sleeps? LA certainly does not. It was a Tuesday night but it could have been a Saturday, everyone is out, all the time. It's glorious. I ventured out  onto the street to find some dinner, and got roped into a free comedy show at Hooters...the Yanks sure know how to sweet talk a young gal. Met a couple of buddies there, and nek minnit I'm having a Texan burger and a soda (alcohol attempt unsuccessful) and having a pretty decent time. Also, nek minnit I've been befriended by a bunch of them and am heading back to Hooters on Saturday night. Stand up comedians; the stereotypical white Caucasian from Dallas, to an African American man from Brooklyn. And I'll say this, there seemed to be no racial filter with the whole stand up comedy thing.

If it isn't politically incorrect, you're doing it wrong.

All in all, it was a great night, they were terribly funny and took great pleasure in humiliating and taking digs at Australians, as soon as the found out there was an Aussie in the crowd...but who am I kidding, I loved the attention. 

 

Orange Drive on the Boulevard

This is Chris.

I hooked up with a local LA couple at Hooters, they taught me how to tip...and  when I say 'local' I mean actual, true blue LA kids. They showed me the ropes and told me that everyone in LA says they're from LA...but they're not. Nicole and Johnny were awesome though, we ended up hanging out at their LA apartment and the took me out and about on the town after. I was told the places to go, the places not to go and they went straight to the top of my INSTANTLY AWESOME list when we succeeded in getting me some authentic 'Merican Vodka, and sneaky drinks at Buffalo Wings later that night. That's right, Hooters and Buffalo Wings in one night. Could I get any more classy. Those kind of places are really kitsch, the girls at Hoooters have "delightfully tacky" on the back of their uniforms. And Buffalo Wings. BUFFALO WINGS, the sports bar with so many TVs it felt like a vicious attack on my sensory system.

They told me about their lives; being held at gunpoint just last week two blocks from home, and growing in elementary school whilst their friends were actors on TV. I told them about mine; making blanket forts with my roommate in our living room and sneaking out of school early. Met a couple of their misfit-LA buddies, and it seems that everyone  in LA is here to find fame...the city attracts struggling musicians, actors and the sort, who work diner jobs in order to support their careers. They taught me the importance of tipping, how to get around in LA, not to talk to White Trash, and to trust absolutely no one. They walked me home and are taking me up to Santa Monica on Friday night.

So, my very first night in LA has restored faith in travellers and the Americans as fantastic people.  Nicole and Johnny took me under their wing as locals, and I hooked up with some Brits and Scottish kids later that night at the hostel, for more beers. It goes to show that your experience is what you make of it, it's all about having an open mind and jumping on board with opportunities.  



Me, Nix and Johnny

 
 
 
 
 
 
 


 

There's Good in Goodbye

 

It never sort of feels like it's happening up until you suddenly blink and then you're in another world. Saying goodbye was harder than I thought it would be, and it's when you're forced into saying farewell that you really start to appreciate the people you love. My head swarming with thoughts of Christopher Lane didn't help and I was so overwhelmed after the rocking weekend that I became a bit of an emotional wreck tbh. I think the thing that was the most  difficult was knowing that things change; people change, situations change and I'm leaving Melbourne knowing I'm going to change, but then I still expect things to be the same when I return. News flash - the world doesn't stop when you're away. So I hope that the things that are important stay the same. But anyhow, change is good. Allegedly.
*winces*
So now more feeling sad and sorry for myself, only looking forward with positivity now, because my adventure has begun.

Gierer Krew say Adios at the airport

 

 

I started packing my backpack 12 hours before we had to leave for the airport. Everyone ELSE seemed to get terribly stressed about it, but I maintain my theory that packing at the last minute is the way to go, cause you don't forget things. I flew with Qantas, on the A380 and the most eventful thing I can think of is when I was standing in line for customs I forgot that I had my one litre bottle drink bottle in my backpack, still full. So, like a champ, I drank one litre of water in the space of about 10 minutes, and then proceeded to run, yes RUN through duty free and down to the boarding gate, and I jumped on the plane at 9.13am,for a 9.15am flight. I nearly passed out because I'm so unfit, and I'm surprised I didn't do a little wee in my pants at the stress of the whole incident.

Oh also, maybe I'm clueless but these kids were on my flight; and they seemed pretty average until there were crowds of screaming American teenagers waiting for them at the airport...they sat next to me the whole flight and were actually pretty irritating tbh. They were all wearing snapback caps. Who knew they were a bunch of rich famous kids. who sing and dance about on Youtube.

The Janoskians

There were LONG delays getting through LAX. And I was terrified of all forms of authority the entire time. No shame. I saw a Customs officer rip a bloke to shreds for being on his phone in the queue. I was afraid to even sit down in the line that I had been waiting in for an hour in case I was yelled at. I managed to nut out the bus and train systems through LA, they seemed surprisingly simple compared to all the transport systems I've used abroad, but I suppose English helps. The highlight was driving on the stereotypical LA highways that are all twisty and turning and give you a great view of the city. Also, it's true. There are palm trees everywhere in LA.

 

LA and Hollywood are not as G.L.A.M.O.R.O.U.S as one thinks, there's a lot of poverty and it's really quite dirty,  people everywhere, the air isn't clean and the sun is making my backpack stick to me. It's fairly warm, about 23 degrees. I'm at a hostel on the Hollywood Boulevard and in the last 10 minutes through the window I've observed five cops pull to the floor, handcuff and arrest a young teenage girl for causing a disturbance and a group of Christian lobbyers march up and down the Boulevard holding signs and chanting.

 

I keep having to blink to remind myself that I'm actually IN 'MERICA, the moment I've been waiting for 9 months. Throughout my short 19 years on this earth I have noticed that;

1. Experience is everything

2. Opportunity is everywhere

3. You have the power to create and carry out your dreams

 

Sounds kinda wanky - yes. Do I have any shame in reiterating it - no. Is it true - abso-freaking-lutely.

 

No if you'll excuse me, Hollywood calls.

 

 

We are who we are

Howdy 'yall. Anyone who knows me well has probably registered that I've been saying that a fair bit recently. Trying to acclimatise...so I'll fit in. The phrase has leached into my social life; I now say it greeting friends, leaving notes for my roommate, ordering a beer at a bar, and blogging, apparently. I've even started saying it at work, coincidentally starting an in-office revelation as it's now the assumed response when answering our internal phone extensions.

I've also taken to watching copious amounts of Boston Legal, because it's set in Boston and much to everyone's annoyance I never fail to remind people of that fact whilst watching the show. See? I've done it again. But seriously, I'm a tad obsessed. I went so far as to actually wrongfully take (aka steal) a stack of DVDs from the house I was staying in without the owner knowing...'by accident'. I'll return them later...after I've seen all the Boston Legal I can. I need to be prepared for when I meet Denny Crane.

Anywho, I've compiled a list of stereotypes that I am determined to prove to be true or false, and end the stigmas that denote American as [ ENTER STEREOTYPE ].

In psychology we are taught that stereotypes are cognitive shortcuts, they exist as an assumption that, over countless experiences, have proved to be true for most people. Simply, they exist because our brain is lazy, and having them pre-wired means we get to think less (yay). So;


...'M.E.R.I.C.A.N.S...
- Eat a lot of Twinkies, Tootsie Rolls and fast food
- Are all pro-capitalism
- Are fanatically patriotic...have a habit of shouting "Yeah!" and fist pumping if someone mentions 'Merica
- People in LA are notoriously G.L.A.M.O.R.O.U.S...(and yes I did rely on Fergie to correctly spell it)
- Southerners are as ignorant as the straw they chew on
- Are all super friendly and have a habit of befriending out-of-towners
- Are somewhat aloof about world matters outside their country
- Hate Canada and want complete disassociation with the country and all who occupy it




...I.N 'M.E.R.I.C.A...
- You have a high chance of being mugged, stabbed or shot
- Everyone has a gun (see above)
- Everything is BIGGER, BETTER and SHINIER
- The Big Apple really never sleeps
- All you do is play beer pong and do keg stands at college parties
- 50's highway diners do exist. And the waitresses wear roller blades. 


And be assured I won't forget to spread the word about Aussies too;


...S.T.R.A.Y.A.N.S...
- Live in the Outback
- Ride kangaroos
- Wear singlets, bikinis, thongs and hats with dangling corks. EVERYDAY.
- Americans carry guns? We carry boomerangs.


...I.N 'S.T.R.A.Y.A...
- English is not our national language
- The girls are all called Sheilas
- Crocodile-wrestling is a sport
- G'day mate = completely acceptable greeting in high class society



And finally, I leave you with this;
"The cool thing about being famous is travelling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff."
- Britney Spears

...Oops, she did it again.