Houston, we have a problem.

No, that's a lie. Houston has not one, but MANY problems.

#10

 Texas, is, for the most part, as I expected. you know you're in Bible country when you start to see more Churches than Starbucks (hint hint we're not in NY anymore Toto). The south is so far different to the east, west and mid west. It's spaced out - there are a lot of empty fields, open spaces, trailer parks and unsturdy homesteads with cowboys wearing hats and driving beat up Mick Taylor trucks. The accent is also quite prominent, upon arrival in Texas we got so many freaked out looks from locals because we a) looked like city girls and b)sounded different. I get the feeling that people strike you as an immediate out-of-towner, and heads would swivel when we walked by, or spoke.

Woohoo #hostel

Compulsory 'this is where we stayed' pics

#classictexas

This. Is. Houston.

Ok, sorry, but it's got to be said. People in Texas have TERRIBLE dress sense. Thing jeans and runners. Think Bill Clinton suits. Think flared pants and sneakers. Think flannel shirts with board shorts. Think the most atrocious footwear. Think cringe. Think terrible.

This. Is. Houston.

Texas ain't safe. Something Dice is routinely worried about. Bless her. Although the area we were staying in was quite nice, homelessness and mental illness roamed the streets. My friend Jacob from Austin, (remember?!) told me that the Texan government shut down all the mental institutions in the 70s or so because of funding cuts or whatever, and all the hospitals or public medical help that is there for mentally ill Texans disappeared, meaning they took to the streets. And I'm talking about a lot of people. So chances are if you are approached by a homeless person in Texas, they're likely to be mentally unstable. We witnessed this a few times, and it was unpleasant.

This. Is. Hosuton

We headed out for a bite (and can I just say that I think I've gained like, 20 pounds here because all the food they have is deep fried stuff, burgers and fast food) and one of the first things we saw was a Texan State Judge do some very illegal driving on the road. A Texas State judge ladies and gentleman. It's times like these that I have to remind myself that over 3,000 people have been killed on Texan roads this year, and this is the state that routinely puts people to death. Like, routinely. Don't get me started on the death penalty. 

This. Is. Houston.

Boot scootin.

We were luckily enough to find some friends (yay). Patrick is from England and Quinn was Canadian. We met them the night before when we had beers by the pool, and they're a lot of fun. We hung out today, Quinn had his car so he drove us out to a shooting range, which was something we were all keen on doing (and, let's be honest, there's not a lot really to do in Houston. No. Correction. Unless being put to death or dying on the roads or being hassled by the homeless count, there's NOTHING to do in Houston).

#quinn

#shocked

Thx Texas

Quinn's banjo in the backseat

Preempting shooting?

T.E.X.A.S S.H.O.O.T.I.N.G  R.A.N.G.E

I don't know where to start! 'Yall can't understand it unless 'yall were there 'yall. Texans are frighteningly fascinating. Ha, I feel like David Attenborough, studying the intricate details of this unknown species. We walked in and this woman was buying ammunition, and casually asked the owner if the ammo she was buying could be used only for target shooting on her property or could she use it in self defense as well? We were being walked through our safety demonstration and the Texan was explaining how the handguns are all 'drop proof' or something, meaning that they have no safety like a rifle or shotgun (which I've shot both already in Australia) because if you drop them they physically can't go off. He then lifted up his shirt to show his LOADED AND READY-TO-GO HANDGUN tucked into his belt. Oh. My. Word. Why.

Quinn. Yes that's a poster of people that Texans take pleasure in shooting. Not quite sure how to feel about it.

Skeptical Dice

The signs on the door and surrounding the place should give you a general scared-outta-your-wits vibe;

Why people feel the need to carry weapons around on a daily basis I struggle with. And I'm an intelligent person.But I struggle with this concept.

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Bad people that the Texan took great delight in showing off how he had successfully killed them. He made comments about real life somethingarather

One of the Boston bombers. This still doesn't sit right...there's something eerie knowing that he took pleasure in shooting at a human face, and then proudly hung this up for all to see

"Extremely Right Wing"
"God bless our troops, especially our snipers"
"Obama Voters 'ya liking communism?"
"I carry a pistol cause my rifle won't fit into my purse"
"Navy SEALs- 1, Bin Laden - 0"

And it wouldn't be complete without a wall of honour...

Dice was so nervy. We could all tell. Quinn was roared up and ready to go, Patrick had never shot a gun before, and me? I was just hoping no one would get hurt.

Which is ironical actually CAUSE I DID GET HURT. I waked outta there with a Dora the Explorer band aid on because I sliced my finger open trying to load the magazine one time. Terrible. 

Safe to say I'm now prepared for the zombie apocalypse

It was a really fun experience,and I'm so glad we did it. It's a story to tell,this is, and something iconic of the south to take away with me

Texans are really interesting people - so very friendly, always keen for a chat and open to express their strong, right wing extremist, patriotic, violent views on their loves of guns and weaponry. I'll say this, it's better to stay on their good side. But, we had a splendid day. Houston, you are problematic, but boy am I jolly glad we're here.

Looking a little too gleeful?

...and I'll never quite understand why people think they need guns, it's their right as American citizens...ain't nobody gonna take that away from them blah blah, but (even though I am a curious kid) I guess there's just some things you have to accept that you never quite will understand.