Fake tales from San Francisco

#21

Okay, so I really have been crappy with the blog. I’ve had a couple of emails from people asking me if I had stopped it or given up! Sort of like those ‘Just a friendly reminder that your account is overdue’ stickers you get on unpaid bills. No way my sweet loyal pumpkins (shoutout Nicolai). I haven’t and I promise I won’t! I’ve just – in all honestly been let down by the unreliability of internet of the West Coast. I know you may think that’s an excuse – but it’s not. It’s true. And because I have so many blooming photos to upload – it becomes a problem. I had to physically purchase more space for the photos online. Yes, that happened. So, please never fear because I love blogging, it makes me feel important and like my small insignificant life matters in the big wide world we live in.

Fake tales from San Francisco

We spent our day meandering around Pier 39, the docks and through town. We watched a hilarious magic show that I insisted on seeing, only to watch the magician lose his ‘magic balloon’ with an eager volunteer’s 20 dollars in it, when he let it go and it flew above the entire crowd. He was visibly really quite upset, and even tried to chase it, as the audience watched in anticipation, waiting (hoping) it was part of the trick. One little kid in the front row shouted “use your magic to bring it back!” but our poor magician simply shook his head sadly and replied “I’m not that good”.

Amen

Lefty's store

Corn dawg

Alcatraz

Sean lions yo

Shoutout Meowiss

Our evening was spent eating at a diner, coming across some interesting company, me struggling yet again with the portion sizes of the food.

#torbz

Then we spent the evening in the bath watching;

We had our caricatures done at le Pier

Dice had to use another one of her socks to plug the bath plug again, but a bath here is far better than a shower. For one, the shower is utterly TERRIBLE, it has three settings; one of which is called ‘Niagara’. You’d think it would imply a lovely stream of hot water, but I’m afraid it’s quite the opposite.

Dice and I gave each other massages and feel asleep together on the top bunk.

Classic last-night-pack. We always tend to take us as much space as humanely possible

There was an incident earlier, where I did a dorky dance to a dorky song, only to find out, to my dismay, that NO, the room wasn’t empty, as I had originally thought. Luckily, the little Asian woman thought I rocked it, and gave me a thumbs up to keep going.

There was another incident at the hostel, in which Dice and I had to do some laundry…and we skipped the queue for the machine. Terrible, I know. Number one; we waited for ages for the guy to come and put his stuff in and he didn’t come, number two it was getting late and we needed to dry our stuff. Dice and I didn’t want to be caught in the action so she watched as I furiously tried to jam all the washing in the machine so we could gtf-outta there asap. In a hurry I accidentally ended up shoving all this guy’s stuff in our load as well…and only realized after it was all in. Dice and I made a quick getaway, only to wash, dry and then fold of all his washing, and leave it sitting there for him.

I hope he found it ok, and the whole shee-bang made up for the fact that we skipped the queue.

Dat magician

T.H.E   A.N.G.R.Y   G.E.R.M.A.N   M.A.N

We had another 'incident', which basically involved me getting us and our dear Brazilian friends in trouble. NYE, there was this German kid blowing this bloody whistle really loudly up and down all the corridors...a real nuisance. Especially considering Dice and I were trying to do our joint dance to Enrique in our room. So I flung the door open, wished him a happy New Year and then abruptly took his whistle away, to return to my room. Little did I know, he had some serious anger management issues, and I had unleashed the beast. He followed me to our room after I went inside. I flung the whistle across the room and it landed somewhere behind a bunk. Nek minnit, there's a knock at the door and it's him, demanding his whistle back. Like, he was super angry. Our Brazilian friends tried to calm him down, and figure out what was going on, because had no knowledge of the whistle, or of my theft, and I was hiding out in a bed around the corner. The conversation lasted for a while, he got really angry and then somehow managed to get HIS FOOT IN THE DOOR and tried to push his way into our room, until all four Brazilians were on our side pushing it against him, and he was getting really worked up; muttering threats like "just give me the whistle and no one gets hurt" "give me the whistle back RIGHT NOW or there will be trouble" ect. Seriously, the guy was like a bulldog that hadn't been fed for a week, and his whistle a juicy steak. He was throwing himself up against the door in such a rage, I actually though he might break the door. Me? Dice and I were finding the situation hilarious on the other side of the room until he actually started hurling abuse at the Brazilians, (still clueless as to why this guy was attacking us) started to get really worried because he WAS NOT CALMING DOWN ABOUT HIS WHISTLE. So Dice marched over because things were getting intense and said; 

"Okay, okay, okay, if you just calm down and give me 10 seconds..." 

And he's like;

"10. 9. 8. 7..."

And we're like; :O

Dice, scared as hell, the Brazilians still barricading the door, confused, and me; suddenly quite alarmed because I couldn't actually FIND the whistle, all had a hell of a stressful next 10 seconds as I madly stripped the bed to search for the it, flinging pillows and trash all over the room in desperation. Luckily, (and I seriously mean LUCKILY) I found it at about 2 seconds to go, and Dice ran it to the door. And just like that, he stopped snarling and barking, ceased his activity, stepped back, pleasantly wished us a happy New Year and went on his merry way, whistling down the hall.

How odd. 

I hope you’ve all enjoyed our tales from San Francisco as much as we’ve loved (minus the last one) living them!