Seated safety

#17

The flights within America have been an experience to remember; the queues, the screaming children, the snappy flight attendants, the unwillingness of air flight crew to actually assist you;  resulting in an unspoken war between employees and passengers, in a way that innocent travelers become collateral damage. 
 
The system cries out for justice.

The fact that nothing, absolutely nothing is free, the fact that snow globes are allowed through the security checkpoint, and the blatant disregard for customer service and satisfaction will not be missed. I will however, miss having my "buttocks patted down with an open palm" by a female officer and having the option of a "private screening room for this to be conducted?" And I will not miss riding those flat-escalator things, even when Dice walks past me, and then has to wait for me at the end because I am too lazy to walk the 30 meters.

We boarded the flight to San Fran, only to have a very flamboyant flight attendant do a fairly lazy job of demonstrating the safety procedures; he actually rolled his eyes several times and when demonstrating where the oxygen masks were, he literally just shooed his hand around in front of him, as if to suggest that the masks were distributed among the crowd of frightened and now-quite-alarmed passengers.

But then again, this was the flight on which we were told that they don't supply life vests, but "your seat will act as your portable flotation device in the event of an evacuation" and that we were to literally lift the cushioning off our seat and use the seat belt to strap it to our bottoms, before all waddling off the plane and into the deep dark waters that awaited us below (mind you, like my last post on American airlines, we were not to cross a mass body of water).

No that's convenience.